Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
