You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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