dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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