i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
