And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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