Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
