We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
