I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
