Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
