She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
