Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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