It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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