Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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