everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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