sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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