the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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