lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
