Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize