Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
