So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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