You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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