Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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