Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
