that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
