...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
