ya dads aren't the best wingmen
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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