According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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