no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
