Who wears a wallet chain?!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
