And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
