She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
