How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
