I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
