Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
