sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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