Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
