I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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