last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize