every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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