please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
