I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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