Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize