Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
