walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
