come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
