I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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