I can tuck mytits in my pants
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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