If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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