dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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