He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
