He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
