Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it was like eating out sand paper
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
