Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
