you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
