I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
