things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize