Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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