Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
