It was confusing and full of hummus
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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